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> Model Citizens (Warning: Rated R for Content)
hank44soccer
post Jul 15 2011, 05:42 AM
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I would like to do a fan fiction based on the classic episode model citizens. Our main character will be a girl who has fallen to the sinister plot of tuesday tate. I will need help on this project and it be really cool if someone could do some fan art. I'll come with the story line later!

Character Background

Our main character is Sandy Dumbledore. Sandy has curly brown hair that goes down to her breasts. She is shy and beautiful but will never admit it. Sandy is 5-7 but not very curvey. She is extremely intellegent and a dilligent student. Her eyes are brown and very attractive.

Chapter 1

15:23 PM Sydney Australia Our main character Sandy was being led through Picture Perfect's headquarters by three rather unattractive and large women. Finally they got to Tuesday Tate's office. Tate asked, "Excuse me can I help you?"

"Yes I'm Sandy Dumbledore from Trend of the Moment Magazine and I'm here for an interview."

"Right right of course where should we start?"

"I hear you used to be a model Miss Tate, so why'd you quit?"

"I injured my leg in a photo shoot two years ago, it was circus themed and I was to play the role of lion tamer. Unfortunately the lion tamed me and now, I have this." [ lifts up dress to reveal robotic leg ]

"So Miss Tate what kind of models are you looking for to get you're company up and running?"

"I'm looking for models that have good firm breasts and a long lean figure. In fact you're not to bad your self."

[Sandy blushing] "Ms. Tate-", but was soon interrupted by the sound of feminine screaming. Sandy immediately turned around to see two pretty girls being rudely pushed around by the same women that took her to Tuesday's office. Before Sandy had a chance to say anything she found herself being picked up hurried along also. Tuesday Comanded "Take them to the modelizer!"

When they arrived Sandy was very confused. Why was she in a room with two models who she thought were way prettier than her, and what the heck is a modelizer, why did Tuesday suddenly turn on her? Soon Tuesday came in and Sandy shouted "Why are you doing this!"

"I suppose since you're about to be part of my plan I can let you in on it. It's simple really I want to create an army of picture perfect models to dominate the industry that destroyed my career."

"How can you create a perfect model." By this time a man had walked into the room and Sandy had no idea who he was and wondered if he was on her side.

"That part is easy you see Helmut and I have acquired a nice little device called the modelizer. All you have to do is put a donor in one end and a receiver in the other. You see all of my guards are rather unattractive so I kidnap pretty girls, who are the donors and my guards are the receivers and WA-LAH!"

"I still don't understand two things, one what do we donate and two what do I have to do with it I'm not even pretty?"

"Hahahaha you donate body parts, you see I have a philosphy and that's that everyone has something perfect about them. I have to modelize you because I can't risk you telling the world about our little secret."

"You'll never get away with this!"

"Ohh maybe you'll feel a little differently after my little demonstration darling." Next thing they knew Sandy and the girls were being completely stripped of their clothes. Helmut looked at the first model, Gretchen, and said "This one has magnificent legs we could defiantly use her."

Looking at the seconded model, Amy ,Helmut looked at her and said "Yes you have great hair you're Picture Perfect material for sure."

Tuesday decided to evaluate Sandy herself "You're breasts are some of the finest specimens I've ever seen!" Tuesday began to feel Sandy's breasts with her bare hands "Ohh Yes you're breasts are incredible no sag, firm, and C cups! Altough you have the curves of a six year old boy." as Tuesday grabbed Sandy's cheek she uttered "Prepare to be modelized."

As all three of them were shoved into the modelizer and the steel door closed Tuesday comanded "Gassele get into the modelizer you can be the very first perfect model." The receiving door closed and Tuesday slipped her crystal key into the modelizer. Both sides began to fill with gas, Sandy and the others screamed while Gassele remained calm.

Helmut opened the reciever door and Gassele came out with thin legs, straight hair, and huge boobs. Gassele couldn't belive how good she looked all she needed now was straight teeth and a curvy abdomen then she'd be perfect! Helmut oppened the donor door, Gretchen walked out with fat and bulky legs she was quikly taken away by the guards, Amy came out and looked at Gassele and said "Hey that's my hair!" and started crying.

Helmut butted in and corrected " Correction: that was you're hair now belongs to Picture Perfect just like Sandy's breasts." Sammy walked out with A cup boobs that sagged. Gassele came and took her away to a pannel on a wall. She cliked a button and the panal roled up and a body length metal pan came out, they laid her down on the pan. Sammy had her arms placed behind her back and Gassele pressed the button again, the pan retracted, and the panel rolled up. Sammy thought "Great I'm traped how could this get any worse?" Gas filled the chamber and Sandy was knocked out cold. The last thing she remembered was Tuesday, Gaselle, and Helmut laughing.

Chapter 2

Beverly Hills California 10:41 Am


"Clover where are you taking us?", Alex asked

Sam complained, "Last time she did this we ended up at the body piercing hut rememberd."

Alex reminisced, "That's right it took us four hours to convince her that a lip ring wasn't going to enhance her natural beauty."

Clover reassured, "Relax girls this suprise is totally piercing free. By the way you can take off you're blindfolds now."

Alex questioned, "Miss Groovie Smoovie beauty contest? You want us to sign up for a food court beauty contest?"

Clover answered, "No I'm here to sign up and you're here to support here and buy the looks of the competition I'm a shew-in for victory!"

Mandy butted in, "I wouldn't be so sure about that now how bout you and those cheap shoes of yours step off! "Clover ran at Mandy at full speed but Sam retained her. "C'mon let's go get a mani-peti and forget about mean old Mandy."

Alex and Clover simultaneously agreed, "Deal!" The three of them walked into the elevator pressed a button and all of a sudden crashed what seemed like a million stories. Alex Proclaimed, "I don't remember the parking structure being quite this deep."

Sam corrected, "Alex something tells me were not in the mall anymore." Suddenly they hear a loud honk. They turn around to see a train racing right at them, they begin to make a break for it but they are soon picked up by the train and pulled in. Sam stated, "Jerry psh should have known!"

"Yes good to see you too girls. Now to your mission spies, aproximatley a dozen models and one fashion writer have been stolen."

Clover questioned, "What do you mean stolen?" Jerry showed a clip of three models being kidnapped by a helicopter.

Jerry concluded, "You will go undercover as journalists at a major industry event known as fashion week. Find out who is kidnapping the models and put a stop to it! Now to the gadgets. first you'll be using the magnetic spring loaded bunjee belt, the ultra inflatable nylon tech vest, a pair of hollagram projecting mood-rings, the titanium drill heel gogo boots, and last but not least the emray contact lense in aqua marine."

"Emray?", Alex asked

"For seeing through metal. Goodbye and Goodluck spies!", Jerry

Chapter 3

[The three girls had just arrived in New York]

Clover commented on the event's security, "I've heard about fashion police but this is ridiculous!"

Sam explained "It must be because of all the recent abductions." As the girls walked in they were surprised by all the people! One model informed them that they were all here to see the new modeling phenom: Gassele. The model complained how she stole all the available modeling work and now she and the other models were unemployed. Eventually the show began and the girls went to the rafters to get a better view.

Gassele soon came out on the runway and the girls were amazed! Clover stated " I've never seen anyone so perfect! it's almost unbelievable." Sam advised Alex to use the emray contact lenses. When Alex got a good view of Gassele in her trailer she was Shocked!

"The skin on her arms and hands it's all different colors!"

Clover questioned, " Different colors as in her tanning bed's on the fritz?"

Alex answered, "Different colors as in the bride of Frankenstein!"

Sam Criticized " Hmmm maybe she isn't so perfect after all. We better go backstage to get a closer look." As the girls propelled down and walked to Gassele's trailor Sam reminded the girls to act professional.

When Clover first saw Gassele she immediately bursted out "EWW NAST!"

Sam disappointedly said " Not exactly the professional demeanor I had in mind Clover." She quickly changed the subject to avert Gasseles attention " Hi Gassele were from fashionista weekly and we just wanted to tell you how much we enjoyed the show"

Gasseled thanked Sam " Thanks but truthly I owe everything to my agency, really without them I wouldn't even exist." Soon a strange tall man with a brown Goatee appeared and butted in, "Yes and we wouldn't exist without her! Hi I'm Helmut from Picture Perfect and I represent Gassele, she single handedly put our agency on the map."

Clover was very intrigued and had to ask, " You're a modeling agent?" The sound of this made Sam and Alex groan.

Helmut answered " That's right."

"So you could tell me if I had what it takes to be a model?"

"My philosophy is that everyone has something that's perfect about them, in you're case it's you're legs."

"So you're saying I'm model material?"

"Sorry not quite. C'mon Gassele you need you're beauty rest." Helmet walked Gassele out but as he did Gassele tripped and fell. Alex noticed something on the ground and went to pick it up.

"Wait Gassele you dropped you're... ear?" Alex fainted at the sight of a girl's ear falling off.

When the three girls got back to their hotel Alex began to slowly begn to regain consciousness. Sam reassured " I sent the ear back to WOOHP for analysis, our next move is to investigate Picture Perfect."

Clover rudely interrupted, "Picture Perfect Pah-Leese, what kind of pathetic modeling agency are they anyway? Take that Helmut guy for instance, he wouldn't know a model if he sashayed right into him!"

"Come again? "Alex confusedly asked

Clover reassured "No matter what Helmut says I know I'm model mater-." Clover was interrupted by a sound at the door "Special delivery. It's from the Groovy Smoovy Shack."

Clover received the flowers and envelope, as she opened the envelope she excitedly read " You have been selected as a finalist for the Miss Groovy Smoovy beauty contest." She was so excited she clumsily lowered the flowers to her side to quickly and the vines cut her. "OWWWW!"

Sam worriedly, asked " Are you okay?"

Clover replied, "No worries it's just a scratch."

Sam mocked, " Good we wouldn't want anything to happen to our favorite potential beauty queen." The girls soon settled into bed but, Clover had a hard time falling asleep because she was so excited. So she went into the kitchen for a midnight snack. All of a sudden a robotic arm rushed in. It broke the glass window and grabbed Clover and retracted her back to the helicopter with Clover screaming all the way! The other girls immediately woke up ran into the kitchen but found no trace of Clover just a broken window in it. They rushed to what remained of the window and saw a helicopter flying away with a very faint screaming "Help me..." Alex grabbed her emray contact lenses and looked in the helicopter for clues. She noticed that the pilot had the Picture Perfect logo on his jacket.

It was to late for Clover, but Alex and Sam decided to go and investigate Picture Perfect the next day, what would they find?


Chapter 4

Helmut had a rough day today. His consicousness had caught up with him. He felt horrible about being partly responssible for the kidnapping of pretty young girls. His co worker Tuesday walked by, "Hey Helmut, I'm going home, make sure you lock up when you leave."

"Ok I'm just going to catch up on some of my work." When the coast was clear, he began walking towards the operating room/dungeon. He thought about all the young girls who would perish tomorow, when they'd be dropped into the ocean to be eaten by sharks. When he entered the dark room, two girls immediatley caught his eye. He recognized them as the first girl they caught and the most recent girl. He went over to Clover and pressed the big green button on her chamber. The pannel rolled down, and the cold metal pan extended, revealing Clover's naked body. While Clover was still in a daze, Helmut picked her upright and helped her to a chair in the room. In the meantime he did the same too Sandy also. While the two girls sat in their chairs regainning consicousness, Helmut fetched each of them water.

"Ahh Ahh. What's going on here?", Sandy asked.

"Shhh. I'm here to help you out, but we have to be quiet Tuesday would kill me if she found out what I'm doing fo you." Clover and Sandy exchanged looks.

"You too better go to the bathoom before you burst. After all you've been asleep for nearly a week." In the ladies room Clover and Sandy were collaberating.

"Look I know it sounds crazy but I think it's our only chance to get out of here.", Clover demanded.

Sandy asked, "You don't mean...."

"Yep". When the two girls returned to Helmut he asked, "I hope you enjoyed what little freedom you can g-", He stopped to see that Sandy had wrapped her arms around him.

"Sandy what are you do-" Clover interrupted him by kissing him on the lips. "Girls Girls Girls!!!" Sandy began pulling his pants down.

"MMMMM. I guess you two can stay." The threesome began to look like a scene right out of "Wild Things" movie.

Eventually Sandy pulled Clover off of Helmut and began moterboating inside of Clover's brests. The threesome continued for about half an hour until Helmut was out of breath. When he wasn't looking Sandy grabbed his stun gun from his pants on the ground. While Clover was distracting the out of breath Helmut with her curves, Sandy shot him with the Stun gun.

"Damn Girls!" Helmet shouted. Sandy and Clover picked up Helmut and placed him in a empty chamber. As the pannel rolled up and gas filled the chamber, Clover and Sandy new that they couldn't leave the building naked. They looked around and managed to find to purple vests and skirts with matching heels. Sandy quickly identified them as Picture Perfect's worker's uniforms.

As they were escaping Clover mentioned, "My friends can help me.", she said as she thumbed around but realised she had left her gadgets at her hotel back in New York.

"Crap! I don't have my compowder, do you have a phone on you?"

"What kinda friends are theese? Were trapped in another country it's hopeless, besides they took it when I was thrown into the modelizer."

"Hahaha don't worry, they'll help us.
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Ghidra
post Jul 15 2011, 06:50 AM
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QUOTE (hank44soccer @ Jul 15 2011, 12:42 AM) *
I would like to do a fan fiction based on theclassic episode model citizens. Our main character will be a girl who has fallen to the sinister plot of tuesday tate. I will need help on this project and it be really cool if someone could do some fan art. I'll come with the story line later!


Sounds like a great idea. Sadly I don't have time to contribute, and I can't draw. But please keep us updated on it!

BTW, thanks for joining the forum!




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CrowSama
post Jul 15 2011, 01:09 PM
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I'm super busy, otherwise I'd do it. I haven't even gotten to do anymore of my Pony art or a new one of my OC riding a Ventus Zoompha. 'S a bit troubling really.




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hank44soccer
post Jul 18 2011, 05:43 AM
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Chapter 1 is out!
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Ghidra
post Jul 18 2011, 07:17 AM
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I'll read it tommorow and post my comments. ^ ^ Not in the reading mood right now. O__O




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Ghidra
post Jul 19 2011, 12:21 AM
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Very nice fic so far. It reads very well and your grammar is pretty good. Nice use of description and everyhing. A pretty fun read! Can't wait to see more.

I just have one significant suggestion. You may want to change the main character's name. Sammy is one of Sam's nicknames, so it may end up causing some confusion.




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NinjaNick101
post Jul 19 2011, 12:34 AM
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Or you can add your Sammy's last name to it, specifically.

Good intro.




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hank44soccer
post Jul 19 2011, 02:25 AM
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Thanks guys for the support
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hank44soccer
post Jul 19 2011, 04:47 AM
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Chater 2 is up!
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Ghidra
post Jul 19 2011, 06:52 AM
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Nice update! However, you need to edit it for typos. Also, you need to put commas before in-sentence dialogue:

Syxx said, "This is the correct way to use a comma before a quote."




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NinjaNick101
post Jul 19 2011, 07:20 PM
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It's looking good so far. biggrin.gif




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Kira Yamato
post Jul 19 2011, 11:17 PM
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The story itself is very interesting. Model Citizens was a really nice episode. A fanfic based on it seems to be a fine way to introduce some adult elements into the plot. Keep up the good work, hank !

I won't add comments about your grammar. English is not my natural idiom; therefore I don't feel in position to perform comments in relation to the subject.
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cloverfan
post Jul 20 2011, 09:31 PM
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Liking it, so far, keep up the good work.
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hank44soccer
post Aug 6 2011, 08:21 AM
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Chapter 3 is out!
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Ghidra
post Aug 6 2011, 07:14 PM
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Nice update even if most of the material came straight from the episode. Only negative thing I have to say is it needs to be edited a bit more. Certain errors slipped through in the version you pubished here.




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hank44soccer
post Oct 23 2011, 04:37 AM
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Lackey
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Chapter 4 up!

Yes, I know it's kinda graphic, but I needed something that was different than just the base episode
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Ghidra
post Oct 23 2011, 08:25 AM
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QUOTE (hank44soccer @ Oct 22 2011, 10:37 PM) *
Chapter 4 up!

Yes, I know it's kinda graphic, but I needed something that was different than just the base episode


Nice update, Hank! I went ahead and added a warning to the thread title based on the content in the new chapter.




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NinjaNick101
post Nov 7 2011, 08:21 AM
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Caught up on your story, Hank. Your story is doing great.




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TB74
post Mar 26 2012, 03:19 PM
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Good fic, hank!

Love the plot so far. Can't wait to read the rest. smile.gif




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